Monday, May 26, 2008

First Entry

Hello All:

Welcome to the exciting world of the inside of my head. Hope you enjoy the ride.

Before I bore you with the intimate details of who I am, blah blah, blah, let me begin by telling you about the exciting day I've had (insert sarcastic gesture here). Today is Memorial Day, and that means that you are supposed to have the day off to enjoy the company of close friends and family, and perhaps enjoy some BBQ. This was not the case for me. But all was not lost, or so I thought. I work at Busch's, and when you work on a holiday there, you are supposed to get "holiday pay". That means that you get paid for your regular hours, plus an additional 8 hours, PLUS $2.00/hr on top of the regular hours. That is a crap-ton of money. Pretty exciting, huh? After only 2 hours into my shift, I had the "pleasure" of learning that I was only getting 2 hours of holiday pay for the entire day. Why, you say?? Well, my very responsible boss neglected to upgrade my status from Part-time to full-time when I quit my job at the hospital, and started getting more hours. That means that I basically got screwed out of my holiday pay for today. I was livid at that point, and that pretty much set the mood for the rest of the day. Not to mention the fact that this very same boss, the one I had semi-serious feelings for, got a divorce from his wife. NOT because she was a bitch or anything, but because "allegedly" he was having an affair with one of my co-workers, and everyone knew about it, except for me, of course (yeah I found that out today, too). They deny it up and down because it is company policy that two people involved with each other cannnot work in the same department. Needless to say the feelings for him have been extinguished. What a day!

After work, I sat in my car outside my apartment complex, and started to cry uncontrollably. I can't quite remember what initially started it, but you can pretty much guess what fueled it.

On top of that, I learned that a couple of my high school friends are getting married. Congrats to them, but like always I felt jealous about it. Why? Well, I'll save that for another blog. I mean, even though there is hope on the horizon (i.e. with a certain someone at my bff Mary's church), nothing is for certain. It's really hard not to make conclusions about your life, especially when your happiness is a factor. We all make our own realities, but it's important not to dwell in them.

I feel as though I've been singing the same old tune for years, and frankly I'm tired of it. I want things to change. I need things to change, but I just don't know where to start...