Hey y'all:
Check out my new blog!
venus52neptune.blogspot.com
Enjoy the ride!
As far as new things in my life, I moved to Temperance, MI, and having a blast! I started a savings account, and so I can't wait to save up some cash... which will probably be used for my car eventually. I'm still single... oh wait that's not new. Ok ok, I'm working on it, though! :-P
I can't think of much right now. I'm not exactly at home writing this. I'll have more to report later...
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
I gave Him an ultimatum...
And He accepted. And all this week a single thought ran through my head: What was I thinking? To clarify the events of this week, let me give you a brief history. Whenever I get depressed, or if things aren't going right at all, I tend to drink a crap-ton, accompanied by some other naughty things I can't really elaborate on at this time. I always got the feeling that God wasn't too happy with the life I was living. One day I would be praising his name and asking Him to help me, and the next, after something goes wrong, I would buy a 5th of ::insert alcohol of choice here:: and it would be gone in like a day and a half. Then after the 5th is gone, I'd feel bad and ask God for forgiveness, and when the next thing goes wrong, the cycle begins again. I finally decided on Monday that enough was enough. I told God that this is it. Throw whatever you have at me, and I will prove to you that I can be strong, and that I will turn to you above all else. Here is just a little example of what exactly he threw at me, and keep in mind that these sorts of things were always thrown at me, but just never in the SAME WEEK!!!
1. The boss that I liked turned out to be having an affair with one of my co-workers, that no one is supposed to know about, and I have to live with that knowledge. Every time I see them at work, I just can't help but to think about it.
2. My "very responsible boss" neglected to update my status when I started getting more hours, so I don't get all of my holiday pay.
3. I just spent $325 on my car. Bye bye, stimulus check (I told people this happens every year. Tax refund comes, and it goes right to the car).
4. My student loan for this term is $3500. Thing is, I'm only taking ONE CLASS!!!
5. I got denied for an apartment because I don't make enough money.
6. I was reminded of my "single" status over and over and over.
7. My computer died (blue screen of death).
8. The exams from the entire class weren't that good (but the teacher even said that she made it way too hard).
9. I had a horrible day at work on Thursday because it was my first time doing their little proposed schedule, and I didn't know what I was doing.
That's all I can think of right now, but that's a lot!!
My friend, Katie, had some really good advice for me. She said that there are people out there who are in worse situations than I am. She is working on becoming a nurse, and she says that she has to watch people who are dying in agony practically everyday. What about what those people are going through? I agreed with her. But what kinds lives did they live? Were they happy? This is my life, and I have to deal with it. I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone else, but this is a lot to deal with, especially when you try and do it alone (ie. the 5th). I have my friends, I have my family, but in the end it's up to me trusting in myself, and trusting in God...
1. The boss that I liked turned out to be having an affair with one of my co-workers, that no one is supposed to know about, and I have to live with that knowledge. Every time I see them at work, I just can't help but to think about it.
2. My "very responsible boss" neglected to update my status when I started getting more hours, so I don't get all of my holiday pay.
3. I just spent $325 on my car. Bye bye, stimulus check (I told people this happens every year. Tax refund comes, and it goes right to the car).
4. My student loan for this term is $3500. Thing is, I'm only taking ONE CLASS!!!
5. I got denied for an apartment because I don't make enough money.
6. I was reminded of my "single" status over and over and over.
7. My computer died (blue screen of death).
8. The exams from the entire class weren't that good (but the teacher even said that she made it way too hard).
9. I had a horrible day at work on Thursday because it was my first time doing their little proposed schedule, and I didn't know what I was doing.
That's all I can think of right now, but that's a lot!!
My friend, Katie, had some really good advice for me. She said that there are people out there who are in worse situations than I am. She is working on becoming a nurse, and she says that she has to watch people who are dying in agony practically everyday. What about what those people are going through? I agreed with her. But what kinds lives did they live? Were they happy? This is my life, and I have to deal with it. I'm not saying that I'm better than anyone else, but this is a lot to deal with, especially when you try and do it alone (ie. the 5th). I have my friends, I have my family, but in the end it's up to me trusting in myself, and trusting in God...
Monday, May 26, 2008
First Entry
Hello All:
Welcome to the exciting world of the inside of my head. Hope you enjoy the ride.
Before I bore you with the intimate details of who I am, blah blah, blah, let me begin by telling you about the exciting day I've had (insert sarcastic gesture here). Today is Memorial Day, and that means that you are supposed to have the day off to enjoy the company of close friends and family, and perhaps enjoy some BBQ. This was not the case for me. But all was not lost, or so I thought. I work at Busch's, and when you work on a holiday there, you are supposed to get "holiday pay". That means that you get paid for your regular hours, plus an additional 8 hours, PLUS $2.00/hr on top of the regular hours. That is a crap-ton of money. Pretty exciting, huh? After only 2 hours into my shift, I had the "pleasure" of learning that I was only getting 2 hours of holiday pay for the entire day. Why, you say?? Well, my very responsible boss neglected to upgrade my status from Part-time to full-time when I quit my job at the hospital, and started getting more hours. That means that I basically got screwed out of my holiday pay for today. I was livid at that point, and that pretty much set the mood for the rest of the day. Not to mention the fact that this very same boss, the one I had semi-serious feelings for, got a divorce from his wife. NOT because she was a bitch or anything, but because "allegedly" he was having an affair with one of my co-workers, and everyone knew about it, except for me, of course (yeah I found that out today, too). They deny it up and down because it is company policy that two people involved with each other cannnot work in the same department. Needless to say the feelings for him have been extinguished. What a day!
After work, I sat in my car outside my apartment complex, and started to cry uncontrollably. I can't quite remember what initially started it, but you can pretty much guess what fueled it.
On top of that, I learned that a couple of my high school friends are getting married. Congrats to them, but like always I felt jealous about it. Why? Well, I'll save that for another blog. I mean, even though there is hope on the horizon (i.e. with a certain someone at my bff Mary's church), nothing is for certain. It's really hard not to make conclusions about your life, especially when your happiness is a factor. We all make our own realities, but it's important not to dwell in them.
I feel as though I've been singing the same old tune for years, and frankly I'm tired of it. I want things to change. I need things to change, but I just don't know where to start...
Welcome to the exciting world of the inside of my head. Hope you enjoy the ride.
Before I bore you with the intimate details of who I am, blah blah, blah, let me begin by telling you about the exciting day I've had (insert sarcastic gesture here). Today is Memorial Day, and that means that you are supposed to have the day off to enjoy the company of close friends and family, and perhaps enjoy some BBQ. This was not the case for me. But all was not lost, or so I thought. I work at Busch's, and when you work on a holiday there, you are supposed to get "holiday pay". That means that you get paid for your regular hours, plus an additional 8 hours, PLUS $2.00/hr on top of the regular hours. That is a crap-ton of money. Pretty exciting, huh? After only 2 hours into my shift, I had the "pleasure" of learning that I was only getting 2 hours of holiday pay for the entire day. Why, you say?? Well, my very responsible boss neglected to upgrade my status from Part-time to full-time when I quit my job at the hospital, and started getting more hours. That means that I basically got screwed out of my holiday pay for today. I was livid at that point, and that pretty much set the mood for the rest of the day. Not to mention the fact that this very same boss, the one I had semi-serious feelings for, got a divorce from his wife. NOT because she was a bitch or anything, but because "allegedly" he was having an affair with one of my co-workers, and everyone knew about it, except for me, of course (yeah I found that out today, too). They deny it up and down because it is company policy that two people involved with each other cannnot work in the same department. Needless to say the feelings for him have been extinguished. What a day!
After work, I sat in my car outside my apartment complex, and started to cry uncontrollably. I can't quite remember what initially started it, but you can pretty much guess what fueled it.
On top of that, I learned that a couple of my high school friends are getting married. Congrats to them, but like always I felt jealous about it. Why? Well, I'll save that for another blog. I mean, even though there is hope on the horizon (i.e. with a certain someone at my bff Mary's church), nothing is for certain. It's really hard not to make conclusions about your life, especially when your happiness is a factor. We all make our own realities, but it's important not to dwell in them.
I feel as though I've been singing the same old tune for years, and frankly I'm tired of it. I want things to change. I need things to change, but I just don't know where to start...
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